The Case of the Lovable Labs Read online

  “The thought has crossed my mind,” the Chief said, nodding.

  “Of course, it has,” he said, staring at the Chief. “Just like the thought that I might have been the one who killed him.”

  “That thought has also crossed my mind,” the Chief said, smiling at him.

  “My opportunity, giving the seating arrangement at dinner, was somewhat limited. But I will concede that Jennifer and I do share at least one motive.”

  “The fact that Roger was sleeping with your daughter,” I said.

  “That did bother me at first,” he said. “But over the years, I’ve come to accept Faith’s…proclivities. And when they got combined with Roger’s base instincts and weaknesses, the results were inevitable. And incredibly toxic. But if my daughter and ex-wife willingly choose to lay down with creatures like that, so be it.”

  “So, what shared motive are you referring to?” the Chief said.

  “The damage he did to our family,” Bill said, shrugging. “And I was hoping to get the chance to remind him of that over the weekend. But I guess my chance to do that is now gone forever.”

  “Who do you think killed him? I mean, if we take Jennifer out of the mix,” I said.

  “I can think of several people,” he said, getting up out of his chair. “But you only need to find the right one.”

  “That’s how it usually works,” the Chief said.

  “I wish I could help you, Chief Abrams. But I’m afraid my expertise is limited to the study of history, not criminology. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll take a stroll through your mother’s lovely garden before it gets too dark. It was a pleasure chatting with you.”

  He waved over his shoulder as he walked away. I watched him go until he reached the edge of the garden and disappeared from view.

  “What do you think?” Chief Abrams said.

  “I don’t like him.”

  “Personally? Or for the murder?”

  “Personally,” I said, glancing over at him. “I’m gonna go with a strong maybe for him being the killer.”

  “I like him.”

  “Personally?”

  “Absolutely not,” the Chief said, scowling. “He’s a pompous buffoon.”

  “You like him because of the cyanide comment, right?”

  “Yeah, that one just kinda slipped out. He seemed embarrassed right after he said it.”

  “He definitely let it slip,” I said, nodding. “But I read it like he was trying to torment his ex-wife by saying that, not only does he know she did it, he knows how she did it.”

  “I think you’re reading way too much into it.”

  “Yeah, probably. I really need to start working on that.”

  “And ruin your delightful personality?” he said, laughing. “Hey, it looks like they’re getting ready to serve dinner. You getting hungry?”

  “Finally. A question I can answer.”

  Chapter 10

  I pushed my half-eaten dessert away and took a sip of coffee as I watched Sammy and Jill laugh and whisper in each other’s ear. They were sitting by themselves at a table set for four, and I glanced around for signs of the best man who, given Faith’s absence, must have felt like an intrusive third wheel during dinner. I spotted him sitting with members of Sammy’s family, caught his eye and waved, then looked down when I felt my dessert plate brush against my hand. I looked over at Josie who had almost gotten away unscathed.

  “It looked like you weren’t going to eat it,” she said, her fork poised.

  “No, two and a half of those are my limit,” I said, shaking my head. “Knock yourself out.”

  Chief Abrams, sitting to my left, leaned forward and stared at Josie as she made short work of my Amaretto-cream-filled brownie. It was one of our favorites, and Chef Claire had kindly offered the recipe to the people catering the reception. Maybe kindly offered is a bit of a stretch. Josie had badgered Chef Claire relentlessly and guilted her into turning it over by saying that, without the brownies, the reception would feel incomplete. I’m not sure about that, but I am glad Chef Claire finally folded. The brownies were a total knee-buckler.

  “Where on earth do you find room?” Chief Abrams said.

  Josie shrugged as she wiped her mouth then sat back in her chair.

  “I’m just a little piggy,” she said, gently patting her stomach then reaching for her coffee. She glanced over at us. “Did you two have any luck?”

  “I’ve got a working theory and a whole bunch of unanswered questions,” I said.

  “I’ve got more than that,” Chief Abrams said, laughing. “I’ve got a whole bunch of different theories.”

  “Do any of them hold water?” I said.

  “Nah,” he said, shaking his head. “They have their strong points, but they all share a common characteristic.”

  “Lack of tangible proof?” I said.

  “You got it in one,” Chief Abrams said. “The problem is, I can make a good case for several of them being the killer.”

  “Five of them, right?” I said, raising an eyebrow.

  The Chief paused to count his potential suspects on his fingers then nodded.

  “Yeah. The two aunts who are building the glass pyramid at their table, the maid of honor, and both of Jill’s parents. That’s five. Did I miss anybody?”

  “No, that’s my list.”

  “I’d add one more,” Josie said casually as she grinned and waved to a small group of guests who were walking past our table.

  “Who’s that?” I said.

  Josie pointed at a pretty young woman wearing a white blouse and black pants who was scurrying around the tables collecting dirty dishes.

  “She works for the catering company,” Chief Abrams said. “Why the heck would she kill the guy?”

  “How the heck would she even know him?” I said, frowning.

  “I was talking to her earlier,” Josie said, waving to some more people. “She’s a college kid who’s spending the summer here. Bobby, the guy who owns the catering company, is apparently her uncle.”

  “And she somehow managed to fall under the spell of Roger during a dinner she wasn’t even at, then had an epiphany and decided to poison him?”

  “You didn’t let me finish,” Josie said, focusing on both of us. “Have a guess where she goes to college?”

  “The Culinary Institute?” I said, frowning.

  “Guess again,” Josie said, shaking her head at me.

  “How the heck would I know where she goes to school?”

  “She goes to school in New Hampshire,” Josie said.

  “Geez, Josie, thanks for clearing that up,” I said, turning to the Chief. “I guess we can wrap this one up. Mystery solved.”

  “You’re not making the connection?” Josie said. “And just so we’re clear, you can stop snarking at me anytime now.”

  “I’m not snarking,” I said. “What connection?”

  “College in New Hampshire. Two of her professors are here tonight. One of them is her absolute favorite in the whole world. Her term, not mine.”

  I sat quietly, deep in thought as I tried to make sense of what Josie was saying. I placed my elbows on the table, rubbed my temples, and waited for my neurons to fire. Eventually, some sparked and a lightbulb flickered.

  “Jill’s dad is one of her professors?” I said.

  “Not just one of her professors,” Josie said. “Her favorite professor.”

  “That’s a really strange coincidence,” I said, still frowning.

  “It certainly is,” Chief Abrams said. “She didn’t happen to mention the names of any courses she’s taken with him, did she?”

  “She said she’s only taken one so far,” Josie said. “But she plans on taking all of them. The course she took last semester was called The Joys and Perils of the Roman Empire.”

  I stared at Chief Abrams, who seemed even more confused than I was.

  “No way, right?” I said, frowning.

  He shrugged and stared off into the dista
nce deep in thought.

  “Hang on,” I said, glancing at Josie. “You said two of her professors were here. Who’s the second one?”

  “Really?” Josie said, raising an eyebrow at me.

  “What?” I said, starting to get annoyed. “How the heck would I know who it is?”

  “Probably because she’s staying at the house with us,” Josie said, shaking her head. “What did you do? Forget to pay your Snoopmeter bill?”

  “Missy?”

  “Nothing gets past you,” Josie said, snorting.

  “Shut it.” I toyed with my water glass as I tried to process the information. “Missy’s a professor? I thought she taught high school social studies.”

  “She’s a Sociology professor,” Josie said. “How much have you had to drink?”

  “Obviously, not enough,” I said. “How do you know she’s a professor?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because we spent a half-hour talking about it in the living room the other night.”

  “We did? What was I doing?”

  “You were rolling around on the floor with the three puppies.”

  “Well, there you go,” I said, shrugging. “That explains why I wasn’t paying attention.”

  Josie rolled her eyes at me and removed a magnum of champagne from an ice bucket and poured three glasses. She took a sip of hers then her eyes drifted away. I followed her stare then nudged the Chief with my elbow.

  “Interesting,” he said, nodding.

  “It looks like Jackson and Missy are going for a little nighttime stroll in your mom’s garden,” Josie said.

  “Good for them,” I said, my neurons still preoccupied. “Jill’s dad and Missy are professors at the same college?”

  “You are on fire tonight,” Josie said, laughing.

  “Shut it. But how did they end up teaching at the same college?”

  “I must say that your ability to pay attention is somewhat situational,” Josie said. “They’ve been teaching there forever. That’s where they all met, remember?”

  “How would I remember something I never knew in the first place?”

  “She’s got you there,” the Chief said, laughing.

  “Remind me to put the dogs outside the next time we’re about to start a serious conversation,” Josie said. “Jill’s dad and Missy both got jobs at the university the same year. And the four of them were best friends for years.”

  “I remember the part about them being best friends,” I said. “And after the divorce, Jill’s mom took her and her sister and moved away?”

  “She did,” Josie said. “But Bill had tenure and wasn’t going anywhere. And Roger’s business was there, so he stayed.”

  “He’d been living in the same town with Bill and Missy all these years?”

  “That would be my guess,” Josie said, taking a sip of champagne.

  “Now, I’m thoroughly confused,” I said, shaking my head.

  “Then my work here is done,” Josie said, laughing as she stood up. “I’m going to go say goodbye to Sammy and Jill.”

  “Okay. Tell them I’ll be over in a few minutes,” I said, giving her a quick wave. Then I called after her. She turned around and headed back toward the table.

  “What’s up?”

  “I was just wondering how you got into the conversation with the server,” I said, looking up at her.

  “She was walking around with a tray of the stuffed mushrooms earlier, and I mentioned how garlicky they were,” Josie said. “She agreed, then offered me something.”

  “The rest of the tray?” I said.

  “Funny. No, she offered me a breath mint.”

  “Really?” I said, then shrugged it off. “Lots of people use them. It’s probably nothing.”

  “Didn’t you say that the woman in the bathroom had made Roger eat a mint before agreeing to kiss him?” Josie said.

  “I did. Are you inferring that the server might have also been involved with Roger?”

  “I’m not inferring anything,” Josie said. “That’s your job. I just thought you might want to know.”

  A total neuron overload ensued. I frowned and rubbed my temples.

  “Try not to overthink it,” Josie said. “And don’t forget to say goodbye to Sammy and Jill before they leave. They’re heading up to Ottawa tonight and catching an early flight to Grand Cayman in the morning.”

  “I won’t forget. See you in a bit.”

  “They’re going to stay at your place down there?” the Chief said.

  “Yeah, there was no reason for them to pay all that money to stay at a resort,” I said, still distracted. “The house is empty.”

  “That was very nice of you guys to do that for them,” he said.

  “It was the least we could do,” I said, waving it off. “None of this makes a lot of sense, Chief.”

  “Well, we have to assume that the server being here tonight is a total coincidence. There’s no way that could have been planned.”

  “No, you’re right, it couldn’t,” I said. “Do you think she and Bill could be an item?”

  “A professor having an affair with one of his students? Sure, why not? It happens all the time.”

  “And if she was the woman in the bathroom with Roger, that would mean she was also getting busy with him.”

  “And cheating on Bill with the same guy who had an ongoing affair with his ex-wife.”

  “Which ruined his marriage,” I said.

  “Yup. Plenty of motive there,” the Chief said.

  “How hard is it to get your hands on cyanide?”

  “Don’t be discouraged, Suzy. I’m sure your love life will pick up soon.”

  “Funny.”

  “I’m sure you could find cyanide easy enough if you knew where to look,” the Chief said. “You’re starting to like Bill for it, right?”

  “Yeah, I think I am.

  “Me, too.”

  “There you are.”

  The Chief and I glanced up and saw Freddie approaching. He grabbed a chair and set it down between us. Neither one of us could miss the excited look on his face.

  “I’ve been looking for you,” Freddie said.

  “What’s up?” the Chief said.

  “I just got another call from the lab,” Freddie said, helping himself to a glass of champagne.

  “At this hour?” I said, frowning.

  “Yeah, the guy who got assigned the case is young and out to make a name for himself. As such, he’s putting in a ton of hours, and this one really got his attention. You’ll never guess what he found a couple of hours ago.”

  “I’m gonna guess it wasn’t his car keys,” the Chief said.

  “Good one, Chief,” Freddie said. “You really should have gone into stand-up. Anyway, he was just starting to do a little more panning for gold in the victim’s GI tract.”

  “Geez, Freddie,” I said, frowning. “We just ate.”

  “Well, excuse me. You want to hear this or not?”

  “Go ahead,” I said. “But try not to be too graphic.”

  “He found some cyanide,” Freddie said, beaming as he glanced back and forth at us.

  “Isn’t that what he would expect to find?” the Chief said, frowning. “Especially since he already found some.”

  “Yes, he did find cyanide in the victim’s stomach,” Freddie said, then paused for effect. “But not in capsule form.”

  I sat back in my chair and waited out the explosion and subsequent collision of neurons. It took a while. Fortunately, the Chief had the same reaction. Freddie continued to grin at us as we collected our thoughts.

  “Capsule form,” I whispered.

  “Yeah, he found a partially dissolved capsule with cyanide residue all over it.”

  “Now, there’s a stroke of luck,” Chief Abrams said.

  “Why wouldn’t the capsule have been completely dissolved?” I said.

  “Stuff like that happens,” Freddie said with a shrug. “I imagine the guy’s system must have shut
down before his gastric juices could finish their work. Apparently, he’d eaten a really big dinner. The guy at the lab said he found what was left of the capsule right in the middle of a bunch of undigested lasagna. He said it was nestled between a piece of Italian sausage and a chunk of mozzarella.”

  “Yuk,” I said, grimacing.

  “I guess we’re lucky he didn’t decide to have the consommé,” the Chief deadpanned.

  “Now, that’s funny, Chief,” Freddie said, laughing.

  “Please, stop. Both of you,” I said, rubbing my temples. I formulated my question, then glanced over at Freddie. “How long does it take for a capsule to dissolve and release its contents?”

  “Fifteen to thirty minutes is the general rule of thumb. Plus or minus a few minutes on either side.”

  “So, it’s possible that he was given the cyanide capsule before he sat back down at the table?” I said.

  “Absolutely,” Freddie said. “Maybe he was on some sort of prescription, and somebody switched the pills. If was used to taking them, he might not have even bothered looking at the pill before he swallowed it.”

  “No, that’s not what happened,” I said, flashing back to the time I was trapped in the bathroom closet.

  “The men’s bathroom,” the Chief said, nodding.

  “Yes. When I was in the bathroom, I specifically heard Roger say something about what a great kiss she’d given him. Then he laughed and said to whoever was in there with him that she’d shoved the breath mint right down his throat with her tongue.”

  “Why can’t I meet a woman like that?” Freddie said, laughing.

  “I think you might have already met her, Freddie,” I said, staring at him.

  “Faith? No. No way.”

  “She’s certainly a distinct possibility,” I said, glancing over at Chief. “Do you remember seeing anybody getting up from the table around that time?”

  “Yeah, me,” the Chief said. “I had to step out to take a call.”

  “Okay,” I said, frowning. “Maybe my mom was there the whole time. I’ll check with her.”

  “I was there,” Freddie said. “But Jackson and I had a long talk during dinner. I wasn’t paying much attention to who was coming and going.”